


Ridiculous

by JessJesstheBest



Series: Jessie's Klainemas Miracle (or Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge 2016) [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: Established Relationship, Future Fic, Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge 2016, M/M, Shout out to my old manager and friend Shawn who was sad he wasn't in a fic yet, Welp looks like I spelled Elliott's name wrong fuck me, this one's for you Shawny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 14:31:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8756287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessJesstheBest/pseuds/JessJesstheBest
Summary: Kurt turned back to Shawn, delight curling in his mouth. “Got a little crush there, Shawny?”
  
  The bartender barked a laugh. “That depends: does it count as a crush if I want to blow him in the back alley?”
  In which Kurt is mean to bartenders and Blaine loves vodka cranberries.





	

**Author's Note:**

> [Klaine Advent 2016:](http://klaineadvent.tumblr.com/) Day 4 - Dare

A low whistle brought Kurt’s attention back to the bar. He’d been fiddling absently with his bottle of Heineken, troubleshooting a fabric issue he’d been having at work in his head. The bartender’s leer had him back in the present, his gaze directed just past Kurt’s head. Kurt turned to see who had caught Shawn’s eye.

The guy wasn’t the tall Abercrombie-type Kurt was expecting – Shawn’s usual type. Kurt was closer to Shawn’s usual type, by evidence that the bartender had hit on him the first time he’d come to Queen’s. 

That’s Queen’s the pub, not Queens the borough. Queen’s Pub was one of those underground bars that were for folks who just wanted a drink after work, not like some of the usual gay bars that were all dancing and body paint. Those were fun, and Kurt liked them, but Queen’s reminded him of Scandals back in Ohio. A little old school, a little backwoods. It was a slice of his old home in his new home of Manhattan.

So Kurt came here for a beer every once in awhile. If he was stuck on something at work or if he knew his husband was working late, he would hang out at Queen’s and shoot the shit with Shawn.

Shawn who was ogling the fuck out of the guy who’d just walked in and had immediately been pulled into conversation with someone standing at a table near the door.

Kurt turned back to Shawn, delight curling in his mouth. “Got a little crush there, Shawny?”

The bartender barked a laugh. “That depends: does it count as a crush if I want to blow him in the back alley?”

Kurt pretended to consider it. “No, I think there’s another word for that.” Shawn grunted, making lewd expressions with his mouth. Kurt snorted. “Don’t be gross, man. Look at him: he’s like a unicorn.”

Kurt turned slightly, taking a pull from his bottle, as he and Shawn both looked at the man. He was a head shorter than the guy he was talking to, gesturing expansively with his hands as if to make up the height difference with big body language. His hair was curly but styled, sides shaved in an undercut with the top falling just over the top of his forehead. He was wearing a bowtie.

Shawn grunted again. “Woof.”

“He’s wearing a bowtie.” Kurt rolled his eyes.

Shawn leaned heavily on the bar, his whole body leaning into the point he directed at the object of their objectification. “Bowtie or not, Curly is sexy as fuck. Admit it.”

Kurt smirked, privately. “I mean, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.”

Shawn gasped, dramatically, his hand coming up to clutch at imaginary pearls. “Kurt! You, a married man? The scandal!”

Kurt flipped him off, draining his bottle. He turned to look back at the bow-tied man in question. He was already looking at Kurt, the boyish grin from before now melted into a sultry smile. He winked.

Kurt heard Shawn release a large, resigned exhale. “Well fuck me then, okay.” Kurt looked back at him to see him pouting and aggressively wiping out a glass. “No cute boys for Shawn, they all like the married guy.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, pushing his empty bottle towards the bartender, silently requesting another. “Don’t be dramatic, Shawny. You pull at least five numbers from bear-chasers every night. You’re not wanting for company.”

Shawn popped the top off another Heinekan, quite aggressively in Kurt’s opinion, and whined, “But I want this one.”

Kurt pulled out his wallet, fighting a grin. “Here. I’ll tell you what,” He slid his debit card across the bar and raised his new beer. “Charge me for this and a vodka cranberry. Make the vodka cranberry. Give it to bowtie and tell him it’s from you.”

Shawn grumbled out a mild protest.

Kurt wiggled the card. “Come ooooon. The bar’s covered. Ask him for his number.” When Shawn still hesitated, Kurt leaned right into his face and delivered the death knell. “I dare you.”

And these, Kurt had learned, were the magic words.

Shawn plucked Kurt’s card off the bar, eyes going hard. “You’re on.”

Kurt smiled into his bottle as the bartender rang him out and made the drink. He smiled as he watched Shawn hand the drink off, the guy smiling at him and thanking him, sincerely. He smiled as Shawn put his hands in his pockets and tilted his head in that signature way he did when he told customers what time he got off so he could… get off. Kurt positively grinned when the guy shook his head apologetically, showed his left hand, and then pointed in Kurt’s direction.

Shawn was bright red as he stormed back to the bar. “You’re an asshole.”

Kurt just shrugged, biting back a laugh as Shawn got back behind the bar and picked up a new dirty glass to aggressively wipe.

“You really shouldn’t do that, Kurt.” Blaine said, putting his hand on Kurt’s knee as he settled next to him at the bar. “It’s not nice. Now I have to pay for this drink.”

“I paid for it already.” Kurt told him, lifting his arm to rest over his husband’s shoulders. “And it’s his own fault for being a neanderthal.”

“Or it’s your fault for being shady.” Elliot said, landing in the stool on Kurt’s other side. “‘Sup, Shawn.”

“You were in on this?” Shawn asked him, betrayal making his voice go high pitched.

Elliot rolled his eyes. “Chill. You mean me stopping Blaine back there? No, I just know how they get.”

Blaine shrunk, sheepishly, but Kurt just gripped Blaine tighter and raised his eyebrow as if to say ‘ _ your point?’ _

Shawn snorted, bitterly. “Whatever. I’m going to go see if Betsy needs a refill.  _ She’s _ nice to me.”

Kurt and Blaine waved goodbye, Kurt more mockingly than his sincere and adorable husband who was sipping happily at his vodka cranberry. Shawn snorted again.

“You guys are ridiculous.” Elliot said from the lip of his old fashioned.

They answered together. “Yup.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [Rebloggable version](http://saywhatjessie.tumblr.com/post/154054915435/ridiculous)
> 
> And [here's a sequel! ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8778022)*jazz hands*


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